Thursday, 22 January 2015

The Blind Spot; Part One

I can still remember the day that I met Jay. I know that this isn’t much of a feat given that it was only a little over eight months ago, but I vividly remember everything about meeting him. I remember what we were wearing, the sights, sounds and smells that surrounded us – everything is etched on my memory and until yesterday had been the most special memory of my life to date! All of my memories of him had been so special to me.

The day we met I was sitting in a Cafe drinking a creamy hot chocolate and eating a toasted bacon and cheese sandwich even though it wasn’t even 7am! I had been out the night before, having a girl’s night out. Having this night out on a Sunday wasn’t my brightest move given that I had to be in work at 8.30am the next morning, but Sasha and Jade had pleaded with me to go out with them and of course I had ended up giving in! I didn’t even bother going home after we staggered out of the club at 6.30am after a night of wild dancing and laughing so much my sides hurt. Well, what was the point? I was so glad that we had gone though; we hadn’t all had a night out together for such a long time because it was the first time in years that we were all single at the same time. Sadly we had been those girls who became so involved with their relationships that we neglected our friendships, but we had made a pact to correct the situation and had kick started this commitment with a night out the first chance we got. We vowed under the oath of Tequila shots that we would never again allow a man to come between us!

As soon as we were on the pavement outside I kissed the girls goodbye, and walked to the greasy spoon cafe on the same road as my workplace having purposely suggesting clubbing as close to my workplace as possible. They were lucky and had managed to get the day off. I wasn’t as lucky, my manager had refused to grant me a day’s leave even though I had asked her almost two weeks in advance. I am the PA to a Woman who buys failing hotels and B&B’s and turns them around before selling them off for a rather large profit. For the last three years she has mainly been buying London Hotels, but hopefully one day not to far from now she might spot something exotic I had hoped! I had always dreamed of being able to travel and work abroad, which was the only thing keeping me there because trust me when I tell you that working for Sharon is no barrel of laughs, she is utterly foul 97% of the time. Anyway, I think my error had been telling her why I wanted the time off meaning that I couldn’t even call in sick because it would be so obvious! So instead I went in to the cafe, used their bathroom to freshen up and change into a black skirt and top that I had the sense to put in my bag – they were chosen because they were both Lycra and therefore needed no ironing at all but I was very aware of how figure hugging they were and was not at all sure if Sharon would be wildly impressed to see me show up for work in them especially as she was having a bit of trouble sticking to her diet at that time, (and still is). I on the other hand am a tiny size 6/8 and can eat all of the bacon sarnies I want! I am also much younger than her too (and far better looking), and she doesn’t take that well! Clearly that makes me an utter bitch right? Well, if I am a bitch than lord knows what that makes my manager. She is very petty minded and once reprimanded a member of her staff because she failed to compliment Sharon’s new haircut! She admitted to me that that was the reason why she suddenly decided to tear a strip off of Chloe for not dressing smartly to work-even though she was dressed in the same manner as always and was far from scruffy even though not to the standard of business suit-but she was the bloody cleaner so it was a ridiculous thing to do! Sharon told me that Chloe was ‘too above her station’ since she had started university and that she wanted to show her who the boss was! Chloe left two months later – for a much better, well paid job! Her new employers were smart enough to realise that employing someone who was currently doing a business degree course was a good investment. Sadly our manager was too busy wearing her green eyes to see the potential; she really is a bad example of a female boss! I swear Sharon still snarls if ever Chloe’s name comes up in conversation. She is not a woman who likes to see other women do well. Jay calls her ‘the bitter old hag’ and he is not wrong!

Anyway, so there I am, sitting in the cafe, probably looking a bit worse for wear tucking in to a breakfast more fitting to a big fat trucker, minding my own business. I didn’t even notice him until he unceremoniously sat down at my table totally unannounced and uninvited. I looked up startled- and realised that I was looking into the face of an Adonis! His cheeky chap good looks were just utterly flawless and beyond breathtaking; you could not draw a more perfect nose, cheekbones or chin if you tried! Looking into his huge emerald green eyes and noticing that his plump pink lips were parted in a wide smile showing of the whitest, straightest teeth I have ever seen in my life left me speechless! He had eye lashes that would cause a self respecting Giraffe envy and they framed his eyes powerfully-I was caught in his gaze like a rabbit in the headlights, and I had every intention of being hit by the force of that smile and strength of his gaze. Added to this, the fact that he was looking at me as though he had never been happier to see someone in his life was just unbelievable. Was he even real, or was I sleeping at my desk dreaming this? God knew that I was tired enough, but I don’t think in my wildest dreams I could have imagined a man this stunning!

“I thought that you might need this” he told me as he unceremoniously plonked a huge mug of strong smelling black coffee down in front of me. I realised that I must have been staring at him with open mouthed astonishment for far too long but he either didn’t seem to notice or to mind at all, I on the other hand was self conscious of every tiny move I made.

“Pardon?” I managed to stutter after far too long a pause.

He shot me again with that delicious smile and I noticed that time how his eyes crinkled as he did so. My stomach lurched in a way that made me know that I would eventually kiss those sumptuous lips of his, and touch his face where those gorgeous crinkles formed-and I wanted to do far more than that too! “The coffee” he emphasised, “I thought you might need it after the wild night of dancing I just witnessed” he laughed at the memory and added “you girls were having some fun right?”

He looked so impressed that I felt little shame as I agreed and shot him a smile back, although I instantly regretted that, as full as my lips are and white as I had thought my teeth were there were not a patch on his! But mostly I was just astonished that this fresh faced handsome look could be achieved after a night of clubbing. How did he do that? I made a note to find out what products he used as soon as I could, (the answer to this became my products apart from his aftershave so I still have no idea).

“Um” I fumbled for the right words under the mesmerising sparkle of his eyes, “were you in the club the whole night?” I didn’t mean to sound embarrassed but honestly, I would not have been dancing like a five year old at her first birthday party if I had of known that this handsome man was watching me!
It turned out that he was in the club for the whole night/morning, although he admitted that he and his friends had done little in the way of dancing. According to Jay he could barely take his eyes off of me all night, but he had noticed that we were batting away any men who approached us – he liked that apparently, the fact that we were clearly there to have fun and not to get attention from men and in turn I liked the fact that this impressed him! However, he told me that when he happened to walk past the cafe and saw me there he couldn’t resist stopping to speak to me. I was very flattered and more than a little shocked that a man like Jay could be interested in a woman like me. I mean, I know that I am not ugly, and I am aware that I get chatted up fairly often, but a guy like Jay? I would have said that he was way out of my league.

Jay didn’t seem to mind it when I had to let him know that I hate coffee and endearingly he tried to drink it himself-although after seeing him wince after every single attempt to gingerly sip the hateful drink I just had to buy him a cup of tea; which he liked to drink strong, with milk and three sugars! I know everything that he likes and dislikes now. I know how he takes every drink, his bath and how he likes to wear socks inside out because he finds the lines caused by the sewing uncomfortable and cannot wear them the proper way. He has very sensitive feet, and a very sensitive spot under his ears, one kiss there and he can’t keep his hands off of me!

By the time he dropped me off at the door of the hotel where I worked we had exchanged numbers and agreed to dinner on the Wednesday-he wanted us to have dinner that very night but I held out for midweek as I needed to catch up on some beauty sleep (and buy something wonderful to wear-not to mention I needed to throw out the whole contents of my underwear drawer and buy everything new)! I knew that should I be lucky enough to find myself standing before Jay with only my underwear on, it could not be faded, have holes in, and flower/butterfly prints were not going to cut the mustard!

That Monday was a blur to be honest. I got through work by just thinking about Jay every spare moment! I could not tell you what mood Sharon was in, what work I did – or indeed if I got anything done at all! I was consumed with thoughts of Jay. The memory of his eyes danced around my mind. I imagined over and over again what it would be like to kiss those plump pink lips and how it would feel to have those strong, smooth hands touch my soft skin. Every single thought of him turned me in to ball of molten lava! How was it that a person could have that kind of effect on another human being after just one single meeting? I truthfully thought that love at first sight was a pile of crap until Jay, but the effect he had on me was, incredible, indescribable even! I just wanted him so much!

Even though I slept so well that night, my dreams were littered with him too. It was like he was a Pirate who had climbed aboard the ship that was my life and overtaken everything.

I remember two significant things about the following day; firstly I remember the crushing disappointment when I met Sasha and Jade for lunch in the pub and filled them in about meeting Jay. Let’s say that they were not overly enthusiastic exactly. They groaned that ‘I had blown the pact already’ and stated that ‘that was it they had lost me again’! I assured them that they were wrong, and pointed out that Jay had been impressed that we were having so much fun in the club together; and I also reminded them that he had seen that we didn’t want male attention and had not approached me because he didn’t want to impose. That was respectful. Why would someone so respectful try to come in between his girlfriend and her friendships? They had balked at my reference to being his girlfriend; which was understandable given that we hadn’t even had a first date yet! But I just knew. I knew that we were going to be together and I couldn’t wait to get the preliminaries over with and to get on with my life with Jay. I was impatient to be loved by him, held by him, and, well more! I just wanted all of him, all of his world and to know every person in his life right away. The feeling was all consuming and I had never known anything like it before. Understandably on hearing this, the girls thought I was mad! Of course they would though; they had never experienced love like it so how could they know, I reasoned to myself. It wasn’t that they were uncaring, or jealous. They just didn’t understand! Hopefully one day they would meet someone like Jay and then they would have to take back all of the harsh things they had said to me. I would forgive them without question, of course I would!

The second thing I remember about that day is that as soon as I woke up I threw all of my underwear out and straight after work I went shopping and bought the sexiest lingerie. I even bought ‘teddy’ sets and stocking and suspenders-items that I had never owned before! Well, it was a good job I did because that Wednesday night he came home with me, and didn’t leave! All the first date rules suddenly felt invalid for us, before Jay I would never have had sex on the first date-never mind doing all of the things that we did. Not that I feel any shame for it, we were going to be together forever, and no dancing around the fact, or unnecessary waiting was required! This was it for me, he was going to be the last man I ever had a first date with, and I couldn’t believe my luck at getting him, I was determined to make sure that he never had cause to doubt his choice.

Our first date was utterly, utterly perfect. No day in my life prior to Wednesday 7th May 2014 could possibly have compared to it!
It was still light when he picked me up from work. I had changed in the toilet-I know I seemed to be developing a habit with that, but there was a huge mirror in the bathroom and it had good lighting so it wasn’t too bad. I wore a very sexy black dress with a sheer lace back. He wouldn’t notice this until I took my blazer off in the restaurant so on first appearances I just looked classy and smart-all be it with a little too much cleavage showing. I hoped the sexy twist would thrill him (it really did). I also had on very sexy lingerie under the dress – which I was fully intending to let him see I cannot even lie about that I had accessorised the outfit with a deep purple clutch bag and matching strappy 6 inch heels. My nails and toe nails were painted exactly the same shade of purple – it had taken me almost two hours to find it the night before. I was waxed and shaved to perfection and was sprayed head to toe in the most expensive scent I owned! My very long raven hair was brushed until it shone. I knew that I looked immaculate, I knew that I had never looked better, and no one would ever guess that I had had to stuff my work clothes in to the drawer of my desk or that I had to get ready in the ladies!

I knew that my outfit was a hit when as I was leaving the building I walked past my colleague Antoni on the stairs. He literally fell down them because he couldn’t take his eyes off of me! I tried to help him up but his big burly Polish male pride wouldn’t allow me to help. I asked if he was ok and I swear that he could only gulp and nod! It was all that I could do not to laugh as his thick dark hair bounced around wildly and his neat brows knitted together in a frown. I knew he was making a massive effort not to look at me too much and he honestly couldn’t even speak to me! It was hilarious as we were normally so friendly and chatty with each other. I always thought that he was such a strong and confident man so seeing him turn to mush was amusing but also made me feel very confident and powerful! I had never really felt very connected to my sexuality before that day. I had never really realised the power a woman could potentially have over a man in that sense, but something woke in me that day. I just knew that if I could make Antoni react that way, then I pretty much had it in the bag with Jay, and believe me, I wanted Jay in a way that I had never before wanted another man! I hadn’t even known that it was possible to feel the red hot lust that had descended upon me in the cafe on Monday morning.

Jay was waiting outside for me and as soon as I stepped on to the street I saw him rise from the bench that is directly in front of the door. It was a good job that I felt sexy and powerful because otherwise I would have just dropped to his feet! He was clearly newly shaven and showered because as he kissed my cheek I felt intoxicated by the scent of his products. Whatever aftershave he used (Fahrenheit), I just wanted to pour it all over the floor and roll around in it right then and there! He smelt divine and was dressed in smart black chinos and a black Ralph Lauren shirt –he had made an effort that was for sure but he didn’t need to, with his looks and charm he already had me the moment he sat down and offered me coffee in the cafe. Everything else was just a blissful bonus! The best part of all was that he basically told me the self same things about me when we later spoke about our first date. He said that he already knew that we were going to be together and that as soon as he saw me he wanted to have me right there and then on the bench!

However, instead we went to a really trendy restaurant for dinner and were thankfully seated in a quiet corner so were able to really talk about everything without fear of being overheard. We ate and drank far too much, and chatted for hours. The conversation was flowing effortlessly and we had so much in common! I really enjoyed hearing his views on life, and love! He told me that he was an electrician and really enjoyed his job; he and his Brother John worked for their Father, Donald. The only slight hitch was that Jay has a Son, four month old Samuel. It turns out that Samuel’s Mother had thrown Jay out just after their son was born. Jay was then, and still seemed to be bewildered by this, he had thought that they were in love and were going to get married. I know that it is ridiculous but I felt overwhelmed with jealousy that another woman had his baby. I know how bad it sounds, but I felt as though she had stolen something from him that was meant to be mine! I shocked myself by directly asking him what he would do if Shannon wanted him back. He actually laughed at this question, and assured me that they don’t have anything to do with each other anymore. Apparently every Saturday morning she drops the baby off at Jay’s Mum’s house and he spends the day with his Son before one of his parents’ takes him home again. “Anyway” he asked, “why would I want crazy lady back when I have you now”? Blood rocketed through my body on hearing those words.

The rest of the meal was a hazy blur after that. All I could think about was getting home as fast as possible, and the sex that I knew we were going to have once we got there. I could hear my own heart beat, I could feel pulses racing in my body in places that I didn’t know we had them! Our flirting got intense and suddenly went from feeling fun and silly to feeling very deliberate and very serious. I suddenly became very aware of every movement he made; every muscle that moved in his body had my full attention. The blood in my own body felt thick and hot and was effecting my hearing a little. It was like hearing through a hazy fog, but my sight and smell were on red alert, I don’t think that I have ever felt more alert than on that date. I could tell that he felt exactly the same way. He was looking at me in a way that no man ever had before. I saw him drinking in the details of my face, my neck and my cleavage. The tension between us was electric.

In the end we only managed to wait until we got in to his car before the crazy passion that had built up within us took over. As soon as the door shut his lips locked over mine and we kissed with a hunger that I have never known before. His hands were running all over my body, on me, and in me and my hands were exploring every inch of him just as frantically. We touched and felt and kissed in the dark corner of the car park without even stopping to notice if anyone could see us! My knickers were removed by Jay with ease-although he wanted me to keep my shoes on. He gasped when my mouth went down to his lap and after only a couple of seconds he moved my head away from his groin, he was groaning in agony before finding his voice and asking with lust filled tones for me to sit on his lap. From that moment it was over in literally minutes, but they were the most powerful, blissful minutes of my life. We literally exploded together, my body shook with pleasure and as soon as it was over I wanted him again immediately. Even though we were done, I stayed sitting on his lap and we kissed for quite some time before we left.

The drive to my place was silent apart from the relaying of directions. I wouldn’t say that the silence was comfortable in the car because the air was thick with expectation and the smell of sex! We were both desperate to get the drive over with so that we could pick up where we left off, that sex hadn’t eased the tension between us at all; it had only heightened things further. We practically ran up the stairs to my flat and as soon as the door closed we were on the hallway floor ripping each other’s clothes off-although once again he left my heels on!

I ended up calling in sick for the rest of the working week without caring at all about the consequences, luckily for Jay he was already on leave, and we didn’t leave the flat even once before the weekend. We barely ate, and barely did anything other than indulge in our new addiction for one another! The sex was wild, intense and adventurous. It seemed that nothing was off limits and we had no inhibitions with each other. When Jay had to leave early on the Saturday morning to go and see his son I actually ached for him to return as though he had been gone for years rather than hours! This didn’t make me feel pathetic or needy or stupid as it might have done, it felt right. Everything just felt as though it was absolutely meant to be and there was absolutely no shame in anything that we felt; did or said to one another-there were no boundaries with us.

To fill the time he was away I took a much needed bath, cleaned the flat and nipped out for supplies. I planned to cook a nice meal for us when he got back from his Mum’s so I went to the most expensive deli in our area, to choose the nicest ingredients to cook for him. I really wanted to show him what a great girlfriend I planned on being, how I wanted to look after him. It might have been true that I was out of his league in a looks sense, but I was going to be totally wonderful in every other way!

I needn’t have bothered with the shopping though because he came home with a huge sports bag stuffed with his clothes, a Chinese takeaway and a bottle of wine that evening. He told me that he had told his parents that he had met the woman that he was going to marry and was moving in straight away. This resulted in the food not being eaten for two hours while I showed him how happy that news had made me! There was no doubt in my mind that I had met my happily ever after, after all, what could go wrong?

To be continued....